As a parent, it’s so natural to want to soothe your little one in any way you can—especially when they’re tired or unsettled. Whether it’s feeding to sleep, rocking, holding, or lying next to them until they doze off, these are all completely normal and loving ways to help your baby or toddler feel safe at bedtime.

But if your child needs those same things every time they wake up overnight, it might be a sign they’ve developed strong sleep associations—what I often call "sleep crutches." The good news? You don’t need to quit them overnight. With gentle, step-by-step changes, you can help your child build the skills to fall asleep more independently—and stay asleep longer.

Let’s explore what sleep associations are, why they matter, and a variety of gentle ways to start making changes.

What Are Sleep Associations?

**Sleep associations** are the specific things your child connects with the act of falling asleep. These might be:
Feeding (breast or bottle)
Rocking or bouncing
Being held or cuddled
Patting or stroking
White noise or music
Using a dummy/pacifier
Having you lie next to them
While these aren’t necessarily “bad,” they can become problematic if your child can’t fall asleep (or fall *back* asleep) without them—especially during overnight wake-ups.

Why Do Sleep Associations Matter?

As babies grow, they begin to connect the dots between how they fall asleep and what’s needed when they wake. So if your child is always fed or rocked to sleep, they’ll often need that same help at 2am, 4am… you get the idea.

By gently shifting the way they fall asleep at bedtime, you’re also setting them up to self-settle during the night, which usually leads to longer, more restful stretches of sleep for everyone.

5 Gentle Ways to Move Away from Sleep Associations

1. Use the “Wake to Sleep” Method

This method involves helping your child fall almost asleep using your usual method (rocking, feeding, etc.), then gently waking them slightly before placing them in the cot.

This way, they finish the final step of falling asleep on their own. Over time, they get better at doing it themselves from the start of bedtime and during overnight wake-ups.

💡 Tip: Look for signs they’re drowsy but still aware—fluttering eyelids, relaxed body, slow breathing.

2. Try a Gradual Withdrawal Approach

This method works well if your child needs you physically close to fall asleep (like lying in bed with them or patting).

Start by doing less and less each night:

Sit next to the cot instead of patting.
Then move slightly further away over a few nights.
Keep offering calm verbal reassurance (“You’re doing so well, I’m right here”).
Eventually, you’ll be able to put them to bed and leave the room while they settle.

This method helps reduce reliance on your presence while still offering comfort and security.

3. Replace with a Positive Sleep Cue

If your child falls asleep while feeding, rocking, or sucking on a dummy, try swapping that with a consistent, independent cue—like:

A soft comforter (for babies 7+ months)
A familiar bedtime song or lullaby
White noise that stays on all night
A predictable wind-down routine (e.g., bath, book, cuddle, lights off)

This creates a new association that doesn’t rely on you doing something each time.

4. Practice Independent Sleep at Bedtime First

Focus on bedtime first, before tackling naps or overnight wake-ups. The way your child falls asleep at night often sets the tone for the rest of their sleep.

Create a calm, predictable bedtime routine (around 30–40 minutes), then place your child in their cot drowsy but awake.

Stay nearby if needed—gradually reduce how much you help, night by night.

5. Use Verbal & Physical Reassurance

If you’re weaning off something like feeding or rocking, it’s okay to stay close and offer reassurance as they adjust. This could look like:

Gentle “shhh” sounds
Softly stroking their back or hair
Using a key phrase like “Sleepy time, it’s okay”
Gradually doing less and encouraging them with your voice instead of touch

This helps build their confidence while still feeling emotionally supported.

Be Patient, Be Consistent

This process doesn’t have to happen all at once. Every child is different—some might adapt quickly, others need a slower, more supported approach. And that’s okay.

✨ Consistency is the secret ingredient. Stick with your new routine for 3–5 nights before reassessing. Progress isn’t always linear, but small steps add up.

Ready to Start?

Take a moment to reflect on your child’s current sleep habits. What’s one thing you could begin to gently shift?

You don’t have to do it alone—if you’re unsure how to get started or want support through the process, I’d love to chat with you.

👉 Book your free 15-minute consultation here

Together, we can make a plan that supports your child’s sleep and your confidence as a parent.

Wishing you more peaceful nights (and longer stretches of sleep!),

Kelly xx

Founder, Little Steps to Big Sleeps
Instagram: @littlesteps_tobigsleeps

Say Goodbye to Sleep Crutches: How to Gently Break Sleep Associations and Support Independent Sleep

What Are Sleep Associations?